Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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