Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
