Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
