I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
