You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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