Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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