you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize