u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and she was petting her beer can
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
