Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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