You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
