Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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