this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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