she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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