So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
