Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wish my penis had a tongue
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
