This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
