operation have a gay friend backfired
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
