I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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