We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize