If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
