I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
