she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
