Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
