he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
