Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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