I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
