don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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