the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
