they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
