ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
