I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
