I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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