My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
