watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
