Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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