just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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