Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
