I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
