I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Plan B is the new Plan A
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
