Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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