I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize