she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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