and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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