In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
