I'll bet she douches with gravy.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
