I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize