whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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