Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
