Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it because I queefed?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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