I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
