You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How's work?
Spinning.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
