He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
