You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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