I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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