"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
