You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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