Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize