If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
