So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
