Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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