he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
