you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
