Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
