The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
