In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
