You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
3 2 1 whiskey
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
