I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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