Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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