I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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