I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
