Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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