im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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