I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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