You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
