why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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