where does the pee come out of this thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
